Weeping Over My Father

Weeping...I am weeping over my father. It has been 12 years since my father's death. 12 years without his voice. 12 years without his sweet embrace. I miss him. I hurt for him. I do not know where my Jesus has set his soul in eternity. Where is his home? Where has God in all his justice and mercy eternally placed his soul. I do not know. I can not say.

I can only wonder and weep as I remember the tragedy of his life. A life I loved and still love. A life that fills my memory, my thinking, my speech and even my face. Where has he gone? Will I see his sweet face, and peer into those piercing blue eyes once again at the resurrection? I do not know. I can not say.

My heart yearns for the eternal happiness of his soul. My desire is to plead with God to have mercy, even though judgment day for my father was 12 years ago. The last chapter of my father's life did not end happily ever after, but in a horrible moral tragedy that still wanders down the hall of my haunted memory. Always replaying in my mind like a broken record skipping back, again and again. If only that moment could be played back once again, and my father could have turned back to God when the door of this life slammed shut. What hall did my father walk into eternity down? Was it the hall to heaven and everlasting happiness or the hall of hell and everlasting hurt. I do not know. I can not say.

How many lives are like that of my father? If only they could clearly reflect upon their lives before death rips us from life, how different the end of many would be. Johnny Cash was a man who was tormented by his own rebellion and who seemed at the same time to have it all. He was able at the end of his life to clearly reflect upon his life through the redemption he has in Jesus Christ, and call his empire of success and fame...DIRT. May you view all of your earthly goods and accomplishments as dirt, so that you may embrace what is of greatest importance...to love GOD and love OTHERS. Amen.